Heart Moments Bible Study # 4 Avoiding the Snare of the Comparison Trap
Heart Moments #4 – Avoiding the Snare of the Comparison Trap
Do you ever compare yourself to others?
I can remember the comparisons beginning when I was a child. I remember when my best friend moved to a bigger house than my family’s house and listening to another friend delighting in her “fall wardrobe” that she purchased from a popular and expensive store. I remember watching the classmate in high school and comparing my wavy, hard-to-style hair to her seemingly perfect hair, my pimply face to her smooth complexion, and my shy, introverted personality to her glowing, outgoing charisma. We like to think comparing ourselves to others ends when we mature but, sadly, not always.
During the days of isolation due to the Covid-19 pandemic, I noticed the extra time I spent on social media. But unfortunately, while it was good to stay in touch with family and friends, social media has its downside. Not only can it be a timewaster, but it can also lead us right into the snare of the comparison trap.
- Have you ever compared yourself to others? How did it make you feel? Did it lead you to a feeling of jealousy or envy?
Regrettably, the comparison trap can cause you and I to be consumed with others, doubt our self-worth and self-esteem, and lead us to sin if we’re not careful. So, what is the “cure” for the comparison trap, and how do we escape its snare? As for every situation, God’s Word gives us the remedy.
WHAT’S SO SPECIAL ABOUT YOU?
Deep in our heart of hearts, I think we all need to feel loved and special.
- Read Psalm 139:1-18
- Reread V1-4. What do these verses say God knows about you?
V1______________________________________________________________________
V2______________________________________________________________________
V3______________________________________________________________________
V4______________________________________________________________________
I am a dental assistant by training, and I worked in an orthodontic office for many years. I can remember a little patient who had what many would call “buck teeth.” He was the cutest little boy, but he sorely needed orthodontic treatment! We scrutinized his teeth, and once the orthodontist completed the exam, the little boy exclaimed excitedly, “I think you really like me!” I believe he came to that conclusion because we had paid such close attention to him!
I think we all need to be “liked.” So as we read Psalm 139, we, too, can exclaim, “I think you really like me!” We can because God pays very close attention to His creation. And as we read how God knows everything about us, we should believe that we are pretty unique to Him, and He cares about us.
God cares to the point of knowing when we sit and when we stand. He knows our thoughts and our words even before we think or speak. Everything we do, all day and all night, God knows every detail.
- Read vs 6 – 12. What do you find reassuring in these verses? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
One of God’s attributes (characteristics or qualities) is his omnipresence. Omnipresent is a big word that means God’s presence is everywhere. So the Psalmist is comforted by the truth God is with him no matter where he is and guides and strengthens him. Don’t miss the fact that even if you feel lonely, you are never alone!
- Read Psalm 139:13-16.
- Read v14 again and fill in the blanks: I ___________ you because I am _____________and _________________made; your _________ are ________________, I know that full well.
The NLT reads this way: “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it.”
When you begin to compare yourself with someone else, remember God made you “wonderfully complex” and “marvelous”! God made you exactly the way you are.
In verse 16, the Psalmist states that each one of his days is planned by God. You and I can cling to this truth also. He made you exactly the way you are and has a unique purpose and plan for your life. He has placed you where you are and has given you the gifts, talents, and abilities to carry out those purposes and plans. That alone gives us good reason not to compare ourselves to others.
A truth to remember – I am uniquely made, unlike any other, with a distinct purpose and plan given by God to live out.
Sin is Sin!
While God’s truth should remind us not to compare ourselves to others, it is by human nature something we do from time to time. And by doing so, we can become jealous, or envious, of others and their lives.
According to the Bible, jealousy and envy are destructive sins.
- Read Proverbs 27:4 from the NLT. How does this verse describe jealousy? ______________________________
- What does Proverbs 14:30 (NIV) say about envy? ________________________________________________________________
OH, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!
When we find ourselves becoming envious of others, we need to repent. Because, unfortunately, envy allows Satan to gain traction in our lives by letting the sin and bitterness spread. Satan is a formidable and active foe.
- What does 1 Peter 5:8 say about the devil? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
From this passage, we learn Satan is always on the prowl and looking for someone to devour! Our envy and jealousy open the door wide for him to come into our lives and enjoy a superb buffet!
- Read Genesis 2:15-17, Genesis 3:1-7. What did God say specifically in 2:16-17?
- How did Satan twist God’s words in 3:4? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- What do we learn about Satan and his tactics in these passages from Genesis? ________________________________________________________________
Satan ate well in the Garden of Eden. He feasted on Eve’s doubt and discontent about what God had given her. He deceived her into thinking God had withheld His best from her when in fact, He had given her all she needed to live the life He intended for her to live!
Be alert and be suspicious of the devil’s work. Watch that you don’t allow him to enter your life when you are struggling with discontentment.
CAN I JUST HAVE SOME ONIONS?
- What is the definition of discontentment? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- Read Numbers 11:1-6.
The Israelites were slaves in Egypt until God sent Moses to lead them out. They left Egypt and journeyed into the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land.
God worked amazing miracles in their lives that demonstrated his power and provision. Still, when things became challenging in the wilderness, the people had difficulty trusting God and were blinded by discontent. Instead of being thankful for all God had provided for them, they were consumed by what they lacked.
- When was the last time you focused on what you didn’t have instead of what God has given you? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Israelites discontentment led them to want onions over freedom!! And isn’t that what discontent and envy do to you and me? You and I miss God’s best because we focus on what we want but don’t have. Onions can be pretty bitter!
- What was God’s reaction to their complaints? (For help see v1). _____________________________________________________________________
When we complain about what we don’t have and envious of what others have, we’re saying God isn’t sovereign over our lives. Complaining is one way of saying God doesn’t know what you need or, worse yet, doesn’t care!
Thankfully, while jealousy, envy, and complaining are sins, God has promised that forgiveness is available through His Son, Jesus Christ.
- Read 1 John 1:9. What is the promise in this verse? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I WILL LEARN TO BE CONTENT!
- Look up Hebrews 13:5. Fill in the blanks: Keep your ______free from the _____ of money and be ___________ with what you have, because _________ has said, “_________ will ______ leave ____; __________ will ____ forsake ________.”
We can be content with what we have because God has given us what HE knows we need. You can find this truth in Philippians 4:19: “And my God will fully supply your every need according to his glorious riches in the Messiah Jesus.”
Remember what I wrote earlier about the comparisons I made when I was young? The house, the clothes, the hair, the skin, the personality? What if, instead of focusing (and complaining) about what I didn’t have, I had focused on what I did have?
Instead of the bigger house…Thank you, God, for a roof over my head, a safe place to stay warm and dry!
Instead of expensive clothes…Thank you, God, that I have clothes to wear that keep me protected.
Instead of complaining about my wavy, hard-to-style hair…Thank you, God, that I have hair on my head!
Instead of focusing on my pimply skin…Thank you, God, that my blemishes are temporary, and many people may suffer from severe and permanent skin ailments.
Instead of focusing on my personality…Thank you, God, that I am “wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14).
- You try it! Write what you may have been envious or discontented about and turn it into thankfulness to God for what He has provided. Gratitude transforms our perspective!
Instead of _______________________________Thank you, God _________________________
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- Read Psalm 84:11-12 and rest in its truths:
- The LORD gives grace and glory.
- No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
- The person who trusts in Him is blessed.
When the temptation arises to gaze upon someone else and desire what they have, we must remember we are unique to God and confess any sin of jealousy or discontent. We can be content because we believe God is the giver of good things!
© 2021 Robin R King
